#2

Greeted every morning with a smile or a silly face. Or a combo. "Good morning beautiful".

Normally i'd grunt and turn away from the laptop light, and go back to sleep. Lol.

#1

 

I wish I look like this when I sleep. Unfortunately, I usually have my mouth wide open (for catching flies), arms and legs spread out over the bed, and a little drool  (little = lot ) to compliment. Not a sight for the weak-hearted.

Good thing he's seen all this, and he's cool with it.

It's been a hectic week...in my mind.

As usual, my brain feels like it's cluttered with all these "to-do's" and I feel like i'm sinking in them. I also know it's my fault for not being organized in the first place, fact is i'm too lazy to. I could start with actually cleaning my room, because half of it is cluttered with stuff that have their rightful place, i'm just not putting it there. I put it on the floor. In addition to that, I have Sugar's new cage also taking up space. Thinking about finally returning USM their office chair and disassembling that table, so I can have the cage next to my bed.

I have posts coming up about my family holiday to Singapore, and about Sugar! My new baby. (It does feel that way) Hopefully after i've settled all the paperwork for JPA scholarship which I probably won't get cause it's obvious my family can afford my tuition, and USM, I can start on those posts.

Truthfully, I feel like we no longer have time to have heart-to-heart talks. So I decided that this blog will be the only way to let you guys know how i've been. No matter how silly, I will try my best to write it here, because now that the link's changed, I don't have to worry about family reading this haha. (To be safe though, if you are reading this, don't tell me).

Negativity.

Alright, i'll admit it. My holidays aren't going as well and as fun as I thought it'd be. Sure, I got 4 months off. Also means 4 months of free time. It's my own fault for not planning properly. I kept using the excuse that my parents are busy and I can't go anywhere without them. Total bull, I should be old enough to travel on my own. Lol, should be. Truth is I don't even trust myself. I get lost easily, I'm not "street smart". I get nervous around certain people and I don't have enough will power to put myself in any of these conditions. So for the past 2 1/2 months, i've been staying at home a lot, more than recommended. I have cabin fever.

At this moment, currently, i'm feeling very stressed out. My baby sugar glider is acting a bit strangely, that is she's sleeping in weird places in her cage and refuses to sleep in her pouch or house. I have been staying up till 7 am every night for the past week to play with her and for bonding time. Unfortunately the only time she decides to wake up and play is when I usually skype with Allen, so the schedule clashes. I end up not being able to pay attention to both parties. I'm also worried because it's pretty obvious I haven't done enough research before getting her. I haven't found a good vet for her, haven't bought her the proper supplements and vitamins. I need to go to a proper pet store but there aren't any in seberang, as far as I know. Should really start picking up the courage to drive :/ but parents take the car to work. Up till now i'm still not sure if the car is mine, lol.

*sigh* and because i've been sleeping at 7 am every morning, I wake up at 1-2 pm. Today I woke up close to 3 pm. With half the day gone, and horrible sleep because of the hot weather, I'm not exactly pumped up for activities. I also have to feed the cats, clean the house, do laundry if possible. My parents come home around 7 pm. We go out for dinner, they shower and continue with work (yeah my house is now their second office) and then go to bed. I usually get really exhausted by 10 pm, and wake back up close to midnight, right before my parents go to bed.

Worrying about uni is also another matter. I've accepted the offer to USM, after a period of arguing and lots of crying (on my part, anyway) with my mum. Apparently i'm not good enough for anything else. A CGPA of 4.00 doesn't do much. I screwed up with my spm and I don't deserve anywhere else.
And about my living arrangements in USM. Can I take my glider there? I've always been planning to hide it but what if the warden does constant check-ups? And can I really take her to classes? She's still young and untrained. I'm also worried about choosing such a far dorm from my building. Granted, all of the dorms are far from my faculty because my faculty's on the top of a hill -.-; but at least I could still walk. Of course living in the dorm outside, I will have the car and I can drive there, no problem. The problem is how am I going to find parking? And wouldn't it look a little snobbish for me to drive there? -.- as if my social problem isn't bad enough already. I wanted to ride a motorcycle instead, but my parents won't let me :/

Funny, I thought my parents (mum, especially) wanted me to go to USM so that it's easier for them to help me with anything. So far...eh, no comment. I know they want me to learn to be independent and handle myself. I just don't want them breathing on my neck every step of the way, which is probably how it's going to be since i'll be in USM with them and they'll have eyes everywhere, watching every mistake I make. Extra pressure, hooray! I don't mind making mistakes, I just don't want them judging every move I make...

July...well for those reading and knew what was supposed to happen in July, it's been postponed to late October. Second month in uni...idk how i'm going to handle it. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to see him. I'm just really scared I can't keep up. He's already having a pretty hard time with his conditions at the moment, trying to make money and save it. It's been a while since I got to spend quality time with him, as he's always in college or a restaurant now to get wifi. I don't know what the plan is...it's always changing. I really want this to work but it's so complicated...

Well, that's about it I guess. As much as I'd like to reveal in public, anyway...
Until next time, taa, loves.

I miss youuuuuuuu!

I miss meeting you guys in school :( spending 8 hours a day together was fun xD not having to worry about who to tumpang back after queensbay or if someone has other plans and can't make it. Now we barely get to see each other. I think I haven't talked to Rachel in months D: and Krystal! But for some reason sabs, melia and kelly look less unreachable cause they have their blogs and fb etc. xD I can stalk them everyday!

*sigh* Point: I miss those days. But I know we haven't forgotten each other. :D Loveee!

 

This pic was made and used for my matriks I.T. assignment once xD labelled under 'Friends'. ♥

._.

I will stay loyal to this blog. I WILL! While the idea of having a tumblr of my own is tempting, I know i'll eventually abandon this blog, and then eventually tumblr, like how I abandon everything else. I can't erase this blog though, it's chock full of memories.

I'll go hunting for some nice templates, then I'll work on restarting this blog again. Cheers!

We all have that fear sometimes. Do our parents really love us?