I'm...fasting today. This is really bad. Really really bad. Not the fasting part though. It's just that, I was supposed to sahur yesterday and have my fill of food and water before I start fasting. Problem is, I accidentally fell asleep again and woke up just now o_o it's already like, 8 am. And all I had yesterday was a glass of water and some cookies around...11 pm? ;|
Ah, enough about complaining. I'll suck it up and get through the next 11 hours just fine.
I came on here planning to talk about Breaking Dawn, but after rethinking about what Sabs said, I guess I better not. I mean, meep hasn't read it yet. So i'm better off posting about the book when everyone's read it ;o
So i've been going around reading these MMU student blogs (I curi2 tengok my brother's blog and clicked on the links). I have to say, these people sound like fun...
until you get to a few other blogs.
You just get worried then. Very worried.
I'm starting to develop a hate...for KL. KL, that stupid place that makes people act differently. I mean sure, they might have the intelligence for it...but it's disgusting. Disgusting at the fact that they're drifting steadily to being a...a Westerner. Not that I have anything against Westerners (okay that's not completely true) but their habits are quite disgusting. Haha, I realized that i've been using the same word for 3 times in this paragraph now xD
Anyway, this is where this post gets serious. For someone to be...how do I say this... smart enough? or...open-minded I guess. As open-minded as those people, you need a good balance of restraint and fear of God. I mean, come on man! It's pretty obvious that you're crossing the line between rational and stupid+reckless. I hate their attitudes. I hate it. I despise it. I loathe it. It's disgusting.
And worst of all, I fear of the possibility that I might turn into one of them.
I don't want to be drinking, wearing inappropriate clothing, or going to clubs as if i'm going to the pasaraya a part of my lifestyle. I refuse to do so. And yet, it seems like that's what everybody's doing in KL. I'm scared. Scared for my brother who's currently in Cyberjaya. I thought their roommates were pretty nice, until that day I sent my brother back, and none of them bothered to get up from what they were doing, or even greet my mom. They just sat there in their rooms. One was even lying down in his, not bothering to close the door. It didn't really bother me much, until when I was on my way out, and I heard a girl's voice.
That, could've made me scream.
I thought about that picture I saw, of the guy sleeping on the girl's lap. I didn't recognize the guy, until I saw him in rl. It's my brother's roommate-one of them at least. And the girl. A girl. A girl in the apartment. Bukan muhrim. I got very irritated. Suddenly the pink pillow that I found in my brother's room at the apartment when I was changing his bed sheets made sense. There were some blankets too, all pink and girl. I was like 'wth? ada pondan ke?'
I'm guessing the girl spent the night.
on my brother's bed.
ew. ew.ewwweweweww.
fy. Get your own bed. Thank God we changed the sheets. I felt like going to the living room and slapping her face with the old ones.
And ugh. How could they? How could you people do this? Melayu, Islam. Which is why i'm quite uncomfortable when I see malay teenage couples walking around, holding hands, berpeluk-pelukan. In my mind (I know this is bad, but) the first thing I can think of is that they're idiots. They don't know what they're doing. It's like for me, you'll have to have a pretty significant level of intelligence before you do something like this. This is because, you'll have to work hard to overcome your hormones. Your judgment must never be cloudy.
Stupid teenagers aren't allowed to do this.
I glare at every couple I can find. Chinese and Indians, I don't mind so much. They are free to do whatever they want. Malays, on the other hand...ugh. Why, why must you disgust me so? I mean I know i'm not one to be passing on comments like this. It's not like I wear my tudung everytime I go out. I have my 'dosa-filled' moments like anyone else. It's not pleasant, i'm aware of it. Aware of the malaikats that are keeping score. But I can't help it. I'm just human.
I wish I could explain to him. To all of them, how it actually works. How Allah's rules, seem more and more helpful. But, i'm never good at explaining. I'll probably just make it worse. I can't explain, because I lived through it. I lived through my experiences, and realized what I had to do. What had to be done. What was there all along.
Alas, nothing I can say. I'm no prophet. (Chuckles at the idea) ;|
They're nice...but, they're representing a part of me. And I can't help feeling like we're being made as fools.
ARGH.
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