2009

Is it weird that I can't remember anything from 2009? I can't remember dates, events, faces.

Or maybe i'm just shutting down, and hoping that it'll all be okay when I count to 3.

1, 2, 3.

Avatar

Watched it on Monday. Reminded dad that we were going to watch the 3D one because my brother insisted on it. When we arrived at Gurney and lined up to buy the tickets, we realized something:

there were only 3 seats left for the next show.

Oh man I was sweating, the suspense was killing me. Would we get the tickets? There were 4 lines and each of them were super long D: We tried anyway. In the end, we got the tickets. But 2 seats were in the middle and the last seat was in the front row. I argued with my dad that and insisted that he let me sit in front. I won. Great success!

Anyway, about the movie. Plot was predictable, this everyone agrees on. CGI effects were amazing, this also everyone agreed on. That's enough to get me glued for 3 hours anyway. I managed to drop popcorn everywhere everytime I tried to eat because I was busy staring at the screen and my head was tilted way back xD

Oh and, they had that promotion; buy 2 regular combos and get a free umbrella. We got the umbrella, and good too. Cause I used it to hit the two chinese guys next to me after the movie because they kept making unfunny loud jokes to each other, annoying me the whole time.

What can I say? I wanna enjoy my movie.

PS: I also saw Nina working at the popcorn station :D sooo cutteeeee lol. AND that guy from the AAK heritage heboh thing that we went (kelly, sabs, rach and I). Uh, Mizal I think was his name. He sold us the ticket xD

ME: Eh, EH! tuu..tu AAK kan? *pointing to Mizal through the glass screen*
Him: ha'ah xD
ME: YEAH ingat ingat *nods to self*

Midnight snack.

Whaaaaaat? It sucks not having anything to eat. Now I know what those kids in Africa feel like.


Except i'm fatter.

Of lingo and languages.

I get really annoyed whenever I see someone try to use bombastic english words when their basic grammar isn't even correct. When you can't differentiate between your it's and its, or your and you're, or when to put the 's', you really shouldn't add in words that you'd need a dictionary to understand, in between them. It just isn't nice to read, and it's pretty obvious that you want to show off your "wide vocabulary". -.-

Anyway, the same goes with me and BM. I can't speak fluent bm. For some reason, it's very hard for me to speak a sentence in full malay without adding any english in it. Rojaklah, basically.

See? I just did it again.

I used to be jealous of people with accents. I remember (I still do this actually) faking accents according to the state i'm in and the person i'm talking to. If i'm talking to a real pure penangite with all the 'cik, mamu, mami, aiyak (air)', i'll try to sound like I have a penang accent. When I balik kampung, I'll fake a perak accent. 'kome, dema, aiyo (air)'. But it doesn't come naturally to me. But it helps me feel more like a malay instead of a mat saleh celup ._.

When I came back from England at the age of..5 or 6, I couldn't speak a word of malay. I couldn't even pronounce my cousins' name xD Syahira and Shazea. Oh God that was so lol. I still remember asking my mom how to pronounce it, knowing that we were going to Malaysia soon and meeting them. After that, while my family was staying at my aunt's house because we didn't have a house of our own yet, my cousins and I would sit in the tree house in their front yard during the evenings and they would try and teach me malay words. xD

Good times, good times. Baik masa, baik masa.

Whoop

I can't believe it's been 3 years since 300 come out.



I'm watching it right now, and I've only just noticed that Spartans are masters at dishing out good comebacks.

Eg:

Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
King Leonidas: Madness...?
King Leonidas: THIS IS SPARTA! *kick*

Persian: A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Stelios: Then we will fight in the shade.

Xerxes: ... Consider the fate of your women!
Spartan King Leonidas: Clearly you don't know our women! I might as well have marched them up here, judging by what I've seen.

and also at giving smart-ass answers

Statesman: My good king! My good king! The oracle has spoken.
Second Statesman: The Ephors have spoken. There must be no march!
Theron: It is the law, my lord. The Spartan army must not go to war.
King Leonidas: Nor shall it. I've issued no such orders. I'm here, just taking a stroll, stretching my legs. These, uh, 300 men are my personal bodyguard.


Xerxes: But I am a generous god. I can make you rich beyond all measure. I will make you warlord of all Greece. You will carry my battle standard to the heart of Europa. Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet if you will but kneel at mine.
King Leonidas: You are generous as you are divine, O king of kings. Such an offer only a madman would refuse. But the, uh, the idea of kneeling, it's- You see, slaughtering all those men of yours has, uh, well it's left a nasty cramp in my leg, so kneeling will be hard for me.

Persian: My arm!
Stelios: It's not yours, anymore.

Obviously...

I love my crocs very much. ♥

Hee.

It's okay guys, I found a new phone.

Sorry.

Please excuse the mess which is my blog layout. I'm thinking of changing the overall look, since apparently the next few weeks is supposed to be all about change D:

Also, the Langkawi post might be slightly late. I took around 600 photos -.- Gotta look through and edit all of them.

Short update.

SPM ended on the 8th of Dec, but I didn't feel anything different. -_- Ah well, let's not talk about that. Anyway, so far I've only gone to Batu Feringghi once and that was for the sleepover at Sri Sayang Apartment (pics are on facebook) :D

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be meeting Kelly at Queensbay to give her the bio textbook, and hopefully find something to do there...

Oh and, I need a new phone. Someone recommend a good phone for me. My dad wanted to buy me an iPhone, but I like phones that I can press xD as in, press the buttons while texting and stuff. My old phone..uh. um. I ACCIDENTALLY dropped it in the toilet. Don't ask. So friends, text me your number as well because my contact list is lost in the land of toilet water~

Tuesday, Langkawi. I promise I will blog about that because I know you all miss me so much 8D I will go to Langkawi in blogger mode, as in take pictures of everything no matter how unimportant it is xD (and yes, of course I will also take pictures of *cough* Sabs, you know what I mean).

Ta~

Short posts...

are what I will be making for the time being.


I like this picture, they actually look normal.

Twilight MOVIE haters.

Random stuff that's happened in the past month.

This post will be about all the things I told you guys in school, but i'll be adding some pictures this time. Excuse the less-than-awesome quality. Ian's lenses are still unusable, and my dad still insists that it will "heal with time". D: Camera phone + normal digi cam shall have to suffice for now.

1) Birthday sleepover.
Not many photos, cause I didn't take out my cam alot during the time xD sabs has moar photos.
Main points:- Waited in boredom until Rach and Sabs arrived. Went for dinner, courtesy of Sabs' dad 8D free meal = awesome meal.



Haha we also took a picture of me holding the beer bottle. I wasn't actually drinking okay? D: but y'know, in case the picture brings up bad ideas xD pic is with sabs.

After dinner, went off to the night market to walk off the foodz and buy dvds. I bought my first cetak rompak dvd by myself :D and rach belanja'd me ice cream and a gibbitz (the thing I stick into my crocs). It was a Mr.Bean teddy bear.

Lost it 5 minutes later though. Damn it.

While waiting for Kelly to arrive, we went to check out Hard Rock hotel. (again, for me.)


At the beach, lolol. Both of them were actually pointing at the The Beatles statues, each somebody's boyfriend. ;0

After that, Kelly came and we hung out in the lobby. Best part of the day imo. xD AMOHS. Slept. Next day, woke up real early (Sabs' fault) ate breakfast at the hotel (courtesy of mom. Dw guys, she got a discount) so full so we walked it off by going to the kedai runcit opposite the hotel to buy my sandcastle kit and shorts for kelly 8D

Went to the beach, made an epic sand castle with no actual castle. Just a really big moat and some elephants + kura-kuras. Pics are with sabs rofl. Sabs fails @ sandcastle-building. Went swimming afterwards with an amoh mission (just me) and also went to the TEENS CLUB lololol to play pool and arcade games. After that, dropped off rach, sabs and kelly at CGL (just so that they can walk back to sabs' house) <-- before meep panics about cgl xD. Off to bukit merah. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. KL trip.
After bukit merah, my mom and I went to KL. She had this conference thingy going on, and I had to go cause dad wasn't home at the time too. Stayed at Piccolo hotel, which sucks btw. Nice decorations though.

Pictures of the room. As you can see, the theme is...underwater? And the bathroom is separated by the kitchen. As a matter of fact, there is no actual bathroom or kitchen. Just a shower next to the toilet, separated by a cabinet with a sink in it.

BUT the hotel was near this fancy mall = Pavillion mall. Where if you don't dress right, you don't belong there. Ate at Carls Jr. homg. RM 70 for 4 burgers and some chilli cheese fries. Totally worth it though. Burgers are HUGE.

Hahah that's Sierhan with a french fry 'stache.

Had a RM163 dinner that night. Expensive, but paid by the university. A lot of people didn't show up actually, so we had to call people to bring their families xD Although...some of the guests started arriving at 10 pm, when everything finished ;_; wth man.

Anyway, pic of the appetizer, main course and dessert.
Mama! Also bought this. Uhu! hu! mini cheese cups. Absolutely yummy. And they have different flavours too. Only in KL, I guess. /sigh

After the conference the next day, we headed home. I stole the flowers from the conference hall, they were going to throw them away anyway. What a waste D<

This is actually little compared to what my mom's friends took xD

Stopped at IKEA on the way back rofl. Look! I found the Billy bookcases :D


They look good man xD

3) The snake.
A few days ago when I skipped school and stayed home, I found a snake. I went to the side of the house to get the kittens, because I wanted to clean their eyes. That was when I found the snake, slithering away in the mini longkang. =_= What luck for the kittens actually, since they usually like to sleep in the mini longkang, right where the snake passed through. They were, however, under the box I gave them. For once.

I was panicking cause it was a freaking huge snake. And it had a fat belly too, probably just ate something. Went to the back of teh house. I quickly went inside and called my dad xD with a shaky voice lolol. Fortunately my next door neighbour just came home then, so I asked for his help. He took one of his golf clubs and started poking the snake D: I gave him a whole jug of hot water and he poured it on the snake (I did feel sorry for it at this point, I didn't want to kill it initially, just throw it somewhere else. What to do? Al-fatihah) The jug didn't do anything to it, besides making it angrier. It opened up and started hissing xD omg the stupid cats were getting closer to it. I had to pull them away before the snake bit them.

My neighbour smashed the head, to make sure it's dead. Then we poured more hot water on it. It was..pretty dead by then. Pic 4 u.


Poor thing. But my kittens > snake.

4) SPM
So far, 4 subjects down, 7 more to go. Week 1 of SPM. Haven't gone crazy yet. What my room currently looks like after only 3 days of SPM:

What a shame that the first time you guys see a part of my room, it has to look like this xD you can spot the sandcastle kit next to the clavi 8D
ONE VAIN PICTURE I'M SORRY I just wanted to point out my eyebags.

Although...not too bad for 2:28 in the morning xD

Well, that's it. Sorry for having so many pictures xD I r satisfied now.

Nope.

Adilla and I shared a similar childhood+life. We both used to live in England for a few years when we were smaller, our parents both work in USM, we both love art, we both don't live on the Island and we both travel around a lot.

We were talking about this a few days ago. About how people never understood our schedule. How people consider us lucky and fortunate and pampered, because we get to travel to many places, free of charge and that we get to skip school a lot. I agree that we are both indeed, very fortunate. But most of the time, it's not a very fun life.

Our life revolves around our parents' work. If they have to go outstation, we have to follow them. Note: have to. Because no one can take care of us at home. No one can send us to school, especially when you live around 40 km away from school |:

Of course, trips are always fun. Well, used to be. Back when we were younger, a swimming pool and arcade would suffice for us kids. Now that we're older, they don't. We have to sit in a car/bus for hours on end, not actually able to do anything besides sleep and listen to music (in my case, lol. I can't read in the car anymore, I get headaches). We have to leave our friends/responsibilities/lessons in school because our parents have to work. And when you miss a lot of lessons, it's not fun having to catch up by yourself.

Then when we arrive at our destination, we check in, talk to our parents for like half an hour, and they're off. Leaving us in the hotel room. They'll call every few hours/come back to bring us food. We only see them again at night. After all, they're there to work. When I was smaller I couldn't go anywhere without my parents, so I just sat in the room.

And we rarely get to go for outings because we live so far from the malls our friends go to. Also sometimes, we just want to spend the weekend at home. We rarely get to stay at home. I remember a time when we had to leave the house at 6:30 am sharp, and only come back later at night around 7/8 pm. By 10 we were already in bed. That's like..2-3 hours max of home time.

I know I skip school a lot. When I'm forced to leave Penang for a few days, I get left behind in school. Eventually I get tired of not understanding lessons and I just continue to skip because I started hating lessons. I get annoyed when I come back to school after a trip, and people tell me how lucky I was to be able to skip school and stay at a hotel while they were stuck in a classroom doing work. "FINALLY, you're back".

It also gets tougher trying to explain to the teacher why you're absent. My parents get tired too, and sometimes want the day off. They want to sleep in and rest and spend some time at home too. If they send me to school, which is an hour away, they have to stay in Penang until I finish school.

But I guess, a life like that isn't so bad. You just have to understand that it comes with a price.

/end rant

Career options.

A phone conversation between my grandfather and I.

Atuk: Cita-cita alisa nak jadi apa?
Me: Taktau lagi la tuk, rasa cam nak jadi pastry chef. Suka baking.
Atuk: Haih! Adaaa ke nak jadi tukang masak. Kenapa tak ikut macam pak usu kamu tu, jadi engineer.
Me:...takmau la atuk. Science subjects alisa pun bukannya dapat score sangat.
Atuk: Kalau tak mau engineering, architecture pun elok jugak.
Me: bukan architecture kena pandai maths ke?
Atuk: yelah
Me: Tak nak la...kena jugak ke ikut cakap atuk? Atuk tak kasi option pun?




Atuk: Option la tu, architecture atau engineering. Pilih la mana yang nak.

Random cause I need to go study after this.

I really don't want to go to matrikulasi. I can't imagine myself being surrounded by people who won't get my jokes (most of which refer to movies or songs) because the only movies they watch are remp-it and kl drift, or people who won't be able to give any witty/sarcastic replies to issues like Obama getting the nobel peace prize or Kanye West upstaging Taylor Swift.

Also, isn't it kind of ironic to call white people "mat salleh's" when in fact Mat Salleh spent years fighting white people (or more specifically, the brits)? I sort of lol'd when I realized this. I'm slow, I know.

11 days to spm. So close. 31 days to the end of school uniforms, heavy school bags and Pak Ali's nasi lemak. Bittersweet feeling.

Mom mentioned some sort of promosi that involves going to a university in Oakland at a cheap price. I was excited, so I googled oakland university, california.

First few images that came up were pics of this guy that looks like he was beaten up pretty badly.

11 days left
but spm is not the end of the world, it's not do or die, I think my own brother could be the best example and living proof of this.

die die die.

35
days left till SPM.

Best of luck.

So based on the online SPM schedule (which I hope is already confirmed and correct), SPM starts on the 18th of November, 2009. From the first paper till the last paper (chemistry D:) it will take about 20 days. For me, I am taking 11 subjects, and have exactly 11 days where i'm actually taking a paper.

11, stress-filled, suicidal days.

Read this somewhere, again quoting something I like.

"However, I shall depart a small nugget of somewhat philosophical wisdom: What if it is not God that makes this horrible things happen, but Satan?
Or that it's not God that is doing a fucking awful job of stopping them from happening, but us giving into the bad things and paying the price?
God gives us a choice, maybe it's just that our choices have a great amount of impact on the world, so even if it is one douchebag fucking things over and not paying the price, he's fucking up others.
It's not fair, but Satan is a mysterious and dangerous being. And goddamn sexy, too. None of this goaty pitchfork wielding fuckwit; you wouldn't give in to temptation if it wasn't good lookin'."

Idk about you, but makes sense to me.

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS

New grade of A+ for SPM

By KAREN CHAPMAN

PETALING JAYA: A new grading system for the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) will be implemented from this year.

Education director-general Tan Sri Alimuddin Mohd Dom said the change would provide a detailed breakdown of excellent candidates who obtained grade As in the examination.

“The change means there will now be a new grade of A+. Previously, the highest grade possible in the SPM was 1A,” he said in a statement yesterday.

Under the present system, students are graded as 1A, 2A, 3B, 4B, 5C, 6C, 7D, 8E and 9G while the new grades would be from A+ to G (see chart).

Alimuddin said the change was based on feedback from various quarters that the existing system did not provide a more detailed breakdown of excellent students.

“The change in the grading system will enable more qualified candidates to be chosen for training programmes and new scholarships, such as the one announced by the Prime Minister recently,” he said.

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said in June that a new category of Public Services Department scholarships would be introduced next year based purely on merit, regardless of race.

Alimuddin said the Cabinet approved the change in the grading system last month.

“This will not affect the examination at all as it only involves a change in the grades given,” he said.

He said school principals have been directed to explain the new grading system to students sitting for the SPM this year.

----

WHY DID THEY ANNOUNCE THIS SO LATE D: thi- this this. I don't want to see a negative sign on my slip. '-' NO NEGEATIVE SIGN NO NONOJFOFEWhuwefhuurefh

Adilla's open house.

Went to Adilla's house yesterday at 7:30 pm (yeah Syariz we were late, cause my mom had work and she was my only transport xD). Lotsa food, Yemen food? D: what? Still tasted good anyway. I didn't eat much though since I ate a lot at a kenduri earlier that day. The hotdogs were yummy though :p

After that went straight upstairs to look at Adilla's room. xD I saw Ashley's 'Ashley was here' on the white board. So I added 'Alisa was here too' >D

Omg Adilla has so many medals it's crazy D: neatly susun'd on top of her cupboard, pics on facebook. Haha.

OH and Adilla's youngest brother, Adam, 6 years old. SO CUTE I wanted to videotape him. But alas, Ian does not take videos, only pictures. So the album is full of his pictures LOL.

Stayed till 10 something :0 sorry for disturbing your family till so late, Dilla xD thanks again for inviting mua and my family.

What's distracting me? - Part 3

So we're back. In the previous previous post I explained how it felt like to be emotionless. |: yesterday I had a conversation with Syariz about this whole issue. I think...something I realized (again, because I know i've realized this over and over but I keep forgetting) is that faith is something important.

Faith is that magic we feel.

To not feel any emotion is to not engage in the world around you. That might be easy for the people over there (lol i'm talking about Americans) cause...y'know. There isn't much of a culture. Not like in Malaysia. There's too much culture here, too many feelings to feel.

You can't just throw it all away when it's being thrown AT you everyday. Like I said on fb, why deny the obvious just because it's obvious? Just because the answer seems so clear, crisp and finely drawn and cut out for you to see, why must we deny it because we're afraid to be labelled as a 'follower' not an independent being?

Call it social brainwashing if you want. It's just something I can't live without.

:)

"Kalau aku cakap itu cinta pandang pertama mungkin kamu cakap ianya agak klise. Entah. Macam aku cakap, aku tak reti nak explain. Tapi rasa itu memang sangat istimewa. Oh ya... ianya macam... dalam hati kau tiba-tiba ada sekebun pokok bunga mekar kembang dengan serentak siap ada embun dengan disinari matahari pagi dan dialun dengan bunyian indah kicauan burung. Entah. Mungkin begitulah kot."

Quoted from another blog. Smiled when I read it.

Agak klise.

What's distracting me? - Part 2

Here we are, part 2. I divided this topic into a few posts because I need some thinking time in between, and I need to have that feeling of achievement, so I click 'Publish Post' everytime I finish a part.

Heh, feel. What is to feel, really? Isn't even feeling something considered non-scientific? To believe in something that does not exist? So when a scientist feels achievement and success in discovering something new...is that a really scientific thing to do?

It's just so complicated, isn't it? I wonder if anyone is surprised at the sudden turn of genre my posts have become. From school events and wondrous happy occasions to...thoughts of life and religion? I have to keep typing or else I'll forget everything. What did you think when you read the previous post? Were one of your thoughts along the line of..."traitor, why do you question things that are good for you? Why do you question Allah and the Quran?" or..."Oi, why are you thinking about this nonsense? SPM is near" or..."That's because you're a FOOL".

I'll tell you why i'm talking about this. It's because this is what's distracting me.

I don't know how many of you actually listened to what the motivator had to say today, or how many even came to school for the talk, even. But I did (because lol, I had to sit right in front of him and that actually made me concentrate on what he was saying. Was initially planning to sleep or read throughout the talk) and he said something about how distractions will take you away from the main goal. Of course, he was talking about tv, sms, internet. Y'know the drill. Basic stuff. But he was also talking about issues, things that bothered the mind, because in the end how you choose to use your mind and what state it is in is what determines your attitude in facing your exams. So I wondered what was distracting me? And it struck me that this was it.

I have no one to talk to about this besides googling stuff on the internet (which I admit does not really make my actions sound very logical, but bare with me).

What I tell you is based on personal experience alone. Do not judge me, because I am only searching and asking questions. I am only dealing with what I have to deal so that I too can face the exam with a...satisfied mind. :)

So what did it feel like, living without God, or the idea of God, even, for 5 days?

I will admit. It was horrible.

I know i've always joked/talked about how i'm emotionless, but for once, I really did feel emotionless. Every laughter felt empty, every heavy heart felt fake. Cause I kept thinking that I was causing myself to do it. What's the fun in that? Okay, imagine that you are having a birthday, and you consider it a special ocassion, so you throw yourself your own birthday party and buy yourself gifts you always wanted. You are now, happy.

But it doesn't feel right doesn't it? Birthdays are a celebration of when you entered this world, celebrating why you should have, why it's such a good thing, because you've made others feel happy, because you've affected others so much, that they're celebrating it with you. It's what others have made you felt. It's how others can too, make you happy because you've made them happy.

So, apply that concept to the controlling of emotions. What's the fun in knowing that you've caused those emotions yourself, and not the people/things around you? Where is the magic, as I will call it, in realizing that you can be as happy as you want or as sad as you want, without the need of anyone/anything else? What's better, looking at a flower and feeling happy because it's so pretty, or looking at a flower and feeling happy because you choose to because you think it's pretty?

Did you feel the loss of magic when you read that?

What's distracting me? - Part 1

Hola readers. (I'll say readers for once, because I don't actually know if it's just my friends reading ;0)

We had a Majlis Mohon Restu thing at school today. It's an event where students are supposed to like, ask for their teacher's blessing for the ilmu they've been given, basically collecting luck and approval for PMR/SPM/STPM. I was reluctant to go at first, seeing as this new lifestyle i'm trying out doesn't believe in the existence of things like 'luck' and 'blessings'. Like, once you get knowledge, no one can take it back. So why ask for approval from someone? Why do you ask for them to "halalkan" the knowledge, when it's already given to you and stuck inside your head? What is this nonsense?

Yes, this new lifestyle i'm trying out has ridden all sense of faith and hope from me. It's just me, science and what is here and now. I will tell you straight out, what i've been doing for the past 5 days. I tried living life without believing in the existance of God. I did not pray, did not believe in things without any proof of it, controlled my emotions, and only saw how things were at that time, through my eyes, and through only what I know.

I started viewing things from a different angle. It was surprising, actually. Seeing things from another perspective, one where there is no such thing as a God. You'll start noticing a few things. For example, like how the school tries to brainwash you into believeing God through religious songs and chants played on the morning radio, or prayers spoken on the PA system, when in fact half the school doesn't even know what it means. And another thing is that why only Islamic prayers? Why not any other religion like Hindu and Christianity etc.? Is the school scared that the Muslim students might convert to another religion?

The second thing I did was control my emotions. Your emotions are basically caused by chemicals in your body, your body, your body, your body which is already something you control. So all those over-dramatic blurts and expression of emotions is never spontaneous, it's just cause you felt like doing it. Because you thought that you couldn't control it, and you thought things were going out of control, so you get angry, or sad, and you let the emotions control you. You let your own cells control you. No, the mind is a powerful thing. What you thought is what caused how your body reacts. Right? (this was something that the motivater said today). So whenever I felt sad, I stopped it. Whenever I felt happy, I stopped it too. Because..well, why should I feel happy or sad? When it is in fact something that I can control, and not caused by anything other than myself? I choose to be happy or sad?

And whenever I achieved something, be it good or bad, I thought of it as a result of my own effort. No help from any unknown being (i.e. God) or through some stroke of luck. My own hard work, my own actions that I chose to do, the feelings I chose to feel and the things I chose to see, hear and know. All mine, caused by only me, and consequences felt by only me.

...

And I will tell you, my friend. It is a harsh world to live in.

Hujan - Pagi yang Gelap

Lebih tua dari ku harap sabar menunggu
Kepulangan mu ku tunggu
Bukan maksud ku mendiam
Tiada niat menyimpan dendam
Hakikat nya rindu yg mendalam ♪

Abang, nanti belanja alisa ice cream famous amous kat Alamanda, ok?

FEAR ME FOR I AM A MODEL oh and also cause i'm part of the volturi.

lol wat. New Moon looks like it's going to be filled with models |:

Diarrhea: not fun.

Friday morning - nosebleed
Saturday morning - vomited and...other things.
Saturday afternoon - vomited and...more other things. Realized that I have food poisoning.
Saturday night - vomited again, have officially slept the whole day.

Sunday morning - Oh you don't wanna know.


Not going to school tomorrow, guys. Have fun.

Selamat Hari Raya

A more detailed post about my raya will be made later (:

Eh, don't ask me about this.

Kenapa nangis?

I don't like seeing you cry, cause I can't do anything about it.

What I don't regret.

Raya is dawning upon us, and I feel excited. :D To go balik kampung and meet all my relatives. Tbh, going anywhere is fine, if everyone else will be there. It's not the occassion or the place, it's the company.

I will never regret what I did in 2008. 2008 was the year I decided to live it up, and enjoy my time before SPM (which apparently was a mistake since I should've concentrated more in form 4 to learn the basics and now i'm stumbling about for form 5). But I don't care. What I did last year was awesome. I tried getting involved in more things, I went out a lot more, did a lot more, saw a lot more and heard a lot more.

And one thing that will always, ALWAYS remind me of the year 2008, is the memories I have about my grandmother.

Don't get me wrong, lol. She's still alive and well (as well as she can get, anyway). She has diabetes and has had it for as long as I can remember. Like there wasn't a time before that that I can recall when she didn't have diabetes, or was able to speak normally and walk normally.

As mentioned before, I decided to be more outgoing last year. This included frequent trips back to my grandparents house in Perak. I usually go with my mother. And most of the time it's just me, my mom and my grandmother in that big house all alone :/. So I started chatting with my grandmother. It took a while, but eventually she got used to seeing my face, and could even remember my name (which is a BIG accomplishment, since she usually forgets her grandchildren's names). o_o

And we would talk, have actual conversations. And the things I learned through these conversations were amazing. I wonder how many of my other cousins know the things I know. I won't judge them or anything, but I don't want to be filled with regret and wishing that I knew my grandmother more on the day she leaves us all.

I will never regret what I did in 2008. I feel like I know my grandmother more now. For instance, I know she likes the colour red. I know that she received many offers and proposals but she chose my grandfather because he asked first (lol).

There was also that one time when I woke up in the middle of the night. I never do this, but apparently I did that night because my grandmother was trying to wake my mother up but she was too tired to wake up. So I did. My grandmother has trouble walking and needs help to get to the bathroom. I quickly got up and helped her, waited for her to finish, wiped her down, put back on her sarong and walked her back to bed.

"Terima kasih", she said.


I've never heard her thank anyone before. Never.

Islam.

I'm not sure how many people that I know and are close to, actually realize how much I question my faith and the religion as a whole. This includes friends and family.

But it's an internal battle/quest. Depends on how you look at it. I just don't want to be disappointed.

I'm happy to discuss about it though, but preferably with a fellow Muslim, because so far I've already had so many rebuttals from agnostics, atheists, etc.

Important issue, isn't it? Quite sensitive as well. But I promise i'll try and keep within the boundaries. Or maybe I won't, depends on how the conversation goes.

-sigh- and yet, the cramps are still killing me. >_>

Cause it's what sisters do.

Default.

Blog is in default mode (besides the header cause it's just too awesome for me to take out) until I can figure out why all the stuff that's supposed to be on the side --->
is at the bottom.

Until then, good luck for your trials, ladies.

Makes Me Think

Whoa, I posted something on www.makesmethink.com and it got approved, lol.

Go check it out. My name is under the story (:

PS: I haven't seen my 10 year old neighbour in almost a year now. Her mom took her away.

Not studying for my SPM Trials

You know how almost every adult we know has some sort of high school regret?

This is mine.

My laptop.

No guys it wasn't taken away. It's near the end of August and my laptop has always been with me, right next to my bed.

I guess it's my own fault for not wanting to get rid of it myself, I admit that it's been distracting me from studying. And I don't blame my parents for anything, although sometimes I wish they'd be more strict on me. Or keep to their word.

And it sucks, y'know? It sucks to realize that at this point in life I still haven't learnt how to be responsible for myself. A few years ago I realized that I had an addiction to the internet. I'd lock myself in my room for hours and stay up till as late/early as 8 am to stay online. I wanted to stop so I told my parents to take the laptop away from me.

I don't remember what happened exactly, but all I remember is my parents not wanting to do that, and that they told me they were trying to teach me about 'self-control'.



3 years later, at 1:26 am, I'm still sitting in the dark, with the light from my mom's laptop shining on my face, posting on my webblog about my internet addiction.

SPM Trials in 3 days.

Looking at the title of this post has made me realize how much time i've wasted. I didn't read much even though I promised myself I would. I'm so dissapointed in myself.

I really don't appreciate my friends enough. I don't appreciate a lot of things enough. Time flies so fast. It's only another 2 months (roughly) to SPM. Does everybody feel as unmotivated as I do? It's as if I don't want high school to end yet, I don't want to be separated from my friends yet, I don't want this stage of my life, of being a teenager, a high school student, a GEORGIAN, to end yet.

And it's as if I think that if I don't study, if I pretend that exams are still ages away, I can stop time from moving.

But the reality is that time waits for no man. No one. Exams are just around the corner. I have to move on. But I don't want to.

And when we all leave SGGS, I realize that i'll be as alone as i'm feeling right now. Without friends, without family, all by myself to face the harsh reality of life and the world.

Sahur selebriti ?_?

I'm in KL now. At Quality hotel cause they prepare foodz for sahur here. Coincidentally we're staying here the exact time this guy:

Chef Jaafar Onn

was having some sort of promotion here. Like, 'berbuka puasa bersama Chef Jaafar Onn'. Lol. So at 4 am (my family being super hungry, woke up early for sahur) we went down to the 1st floor restaurant for sahur. I was wearing my worn-out pajama pants that has little cartoon cows all over it after mom convinced me that everyone else would be eating in their pajamas too.

When we arrived at the restaurant, no other family was there yet...except that guy and 5 other people (which I will assume is either his tv crew or his family).

I looked down at my pajama pants.

...

damn it.


PS: Everyone else who arrived after that was wearing either casual clothes or in suits/baju kurungs. Wtf suits @ 5 am.

PPS: I also met this woman later on:

Rosnah Johari. You've probably seen her/will see her in some kind of drama/telenovela/samarinda on tv3.

she was selling kuih raya, lol. Or, promoting it more like. Found my favourite pistachio kuih at her store.

Taiping trip. (21/8/2009)

Last school field trip before SPM. It was funnn xD but not as fun without Sabs k. Or Kelly. Or Amelia. Yea that's right you guys left me alone on the trip (well not really, I stuck to Aida and Alia like a parasite xD).

SO this will be quite a long post about that day since there's a lot to talk about ;0 and many many pictures. Brace yourself.

NOTE: There will an album on facebook for the other pictures. I took like 200 pics.
Morning - 7:35 am
Reached school, mom and dad were fussing about the drop-off. They wanted me to ask if the bus driver can drop me off at Juru Shell station, but teacher looked busy so I decided to ask later, and then text my mom. Yeah. I asked when we were in Taman Tasik, and she said okay, as long as my parents will be there waiting for me. (There's a mini story about this, lawl).

We got our breakfast which was this really spicy mee goreng ~_~ but ate it anyway cause we were hungreh.

SGGS students in the bus either sleeping/talking/cam-whoring/dancing (srsly)

First stop - Kayu Arang factory
I'm going to call it that cause I totally forgot where it was and what it was actually called. It's near a river (duh, easier to get bakau) and it's got a gorgeoussss view. :D

The place was huge. And this is one of the "dapur bakar" which apparently takes skill to build cause it's hard to make one without having the centre of thing runtuh, making the whole structure crumble down, lol.

Greeted by the penyelia (guy with shirt) and the owner of the place (guy with no shirt).

The place was originally his father's, and the passed down to his brother, and now it's his.

The dapur bakar is BIG and they had like 7 of them there. We went into one, it felt like a little hut/sauna xD Lemme explain how they make the kayu arang. Ohoho, this is going to be an educational post.

First they chop off the wood from the treeees. They only take what's needed, as in when a tree is mature enough, they only cut off about 5 metres I think, and then when it grows back, 6 metres, and so on until they just take the whole tree, and replant.

They're then cut into sizable logs, and stacked into the dapur bakar. The wood isn't burnt, it's only heated under high temperatures for one month. Any longer than that, the wood will turn into ash or 'arang ringan' and will be sold for a cheaper price. Cheaper price = less profit.

The wood are constantly burnt 24/7. They can tell what stage it is in by sniffing the smoke (we did this, we got high, man :'D) or, for those who don't have the years of experience, just poke through the small hole at the bottom and look. There are two doors or holes on the dapur bakar, one in front and another at the back. After a while, the back door is sealed. A few weeks after that, the front door is sealed, cutting off the oxygen supply completely, and thus putting out the flame. This is why they need to keep on tearing down and building new dapur bakars, cause after 5 years or so it starts to crack and won't work properly anymore (oxygen can still go through, flame won't go out etc.)

90% bakau, 10% other kinds of kayu. They get like RM5000 profit me thinks.

I'm sure you guys are familiar with kayu arang. LOLOMGWTFBBQ

Hello peoplez who are living a life of contentment. ;D Pn. NorAzian gave the kids some duit raya, lol. So nice of her.

Left at around 10 am.

Next stop - MUZIUM PERAK

It was cool. Not sure if Sabs would've liked it though, full of exotic animals, er- stuffed. Real dead animals. The funny thing was that we were going to go see the live versions later on at the zoo. o_o

Specially for Sabs cause she wanted a picture of an elephant.

It's an elephant's skull. :D

Didn't realize a tapir is THAT BIG xD Nina acting as scale reference.

I asked Aida to take these for me, lol. Posing like the aminals behind meh. D:< style="text-align: center;">
"How's it goin'?"

Lol @ everyone leaving me, Najwa, Nina and Bahirah while we were taking pics with the huge welcome sign. We were like 'BAS NAK PERGI DAH' and ran towards it. ;_; Moving onnn.

Last stop - TAMAN TASIK & ZOO TAIPING
On the way there we picked up some lunch (kfc, pre-ordered and packed in individual packs :D) I've never seen so much chicken in my life. It's crazy. Anyway, we were allowed to go sit anywhere we like at taman tasik to have our lunch. Teacher even gave us some newspaper to put on the ground and have like a little picnic. Out of everyone though, only my group (Me, Aida, Alia, Najwa, Nina & Bahirah) ate on the ground. Everyone else chose a pondok instead.

Then... that's when it happened.

So we were all eating away happily when suddenly, Alia goes 'oh'. We all look in her direction. It was a monkey. A harmless-looking monkey D: we ignored it and continued eating. It started walking towards us though, well, circling us more like. It got closer and when it was right behind me, we all freaked out, got up and ran. xD The bad part though is that we only took whatever was in our hand atm (which of course, was kfc chicken >_>;) and left our bags with the monkey. Me being the idiot that I am grabbed my water bottle instead of Ian.

yes ladies, Ian was with the monkey D:

I turned back to try and shoo it away, but it put down the tissue pack and screeched and gave me that angry look monkeys give you when you make eye contact D:> and started chasing after me. So I ran off lol. Aida and I were just watching from a distance, hoping that Ian was too heavy for it to carry away. Omg RM5000 man.

Teacher didn't come and help us at all xD of course the logical solution was to just wait for it to go away, but IAN! IAAANNNN. So after a while some old dude that was sitting by the lake took this really huge stick and started walking towards the monkey. That scared it away I think. It took my coleslaw. I was like "keep it" cause I don't like veggies anyway. xD

We packed up our stuff and moved. Ate our chikin next to the teachers, lol. Got so paranoid after that.

TO THE ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. We rode the train :D Aida, Alia and I were left behind to take the second train though, cause there wasn't enough space on the first one. A whole train to ourselves xD whooo. (well for the first few minutes anyway, we picked up some hitchhikers along the way D<) We didn't really have enough time, so after the train ride we just walked around. Ah, funny stories of killer monkeys come to mind. I'll just tell you guys at school.

Hello real elephants :D

and awesome swans.

oh and this camel that tried to mengorat Alia, lolol.


KITTY! It rawr'd at me so I ran off after taking the pic D:

2:30 p.m. ride home.
After the zoo, we left. Left kinda early too just in case. Would've loved more time to walk around though, we didn't get to see everything up close (also the monkeys' fault). I reminded teacher about my whole drop-off thing, and she told me to remind the driver to stop when we're at Juru. "That's fine", I thought.

Although, I didn't really expect to fall asleep on the way back xD I managed to stay awake just fine the first half hour. Alia woke me up and everyone was like "sapa turun kat sini?". Turns out we already arrived at Shell Juru, so I quickly got off the bus lol. Apparently my mom had to stop the bus by waving her arms around like a mad woman because the bus didn't look like it was slowing down. xD Forgot to remind the driver. But...I thought teacher had already told the driver |: wouldn't he have remembered anyway?

Ah lol. Nvm.

After that ate at Nasi Kandar and went home and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeept. xD That's about it. I bought stuff for you guys, you'll get it after hols k?

Trip was fun. :)